Hello!
Here I am, the Jack of Clubs. A lot of people are afraid of me. They see me as an outrageous influencer or a repulsive freak. I bring out outbursts of anger, taunts, impatience, hostility, bullying, jealousy—basically everything that bursts out of you in certain moments. I even provoke those little sarcastic jabs in your conversations.
Yes, it’s scary, I have to admit—I’m hard to control. But today I’d like to give you a peek behind the scenes.
Try to understand me: I am your servant—a very, very obedient one at that. I operate according to programs you absorbed during your childhood and adolescence. They call me the unconscious! You once used my strategies to protect yourself and defend yourself.
The things that cause you trouble today as an adult—the jealousy, the anger, and all that nonsense—were somehow okay when you were a child. Romping around, making noise, ranting, throwing tantrums—people are quick to forgive a little kid for that.
But now, as an adult? Where do you put all that? Often, people try to control me, using well-meaning resolutions to suppress my old patterns as much as they can. Sometimes it works for a while. But in the blink of an eye, everything is back to the way it was.
You know what? Just listen to me for a moment, feel those inner surges, that inner turmoil, and be fully present. I need to make sure you hear me. I need to feel that you’re not rejecting me, but accepting me with love.
With your presence in the face of these powerful inner forces, the breakthrough will happen—I promise you that! This way, the energy can break free from ingrained behavioral patterns and make room for the experience of peace, kindness, love, and ease in how you treat yourself and others.
I am visited by the Jack of Clubs in the form of fear, a serious Lord, black clothed.
Fear of doing things never done before, before of meeting people, fear of learning skills, fear of creativity and difference…fear of having to perform, to respond to certain standards that I have only stablished…FEAR…
I open the door, move in the sun or in Yoga class, talk to someone, write an email, create a new recipe….And the Jack of Clubs is that friendly dude that offers a hand and a pat on the back…
How do I get what you are saying with such honesty! Thank you, my dear friend. So far we did share quite some dance in this life – sometimes close (baking etc.), and now further away and yet sharing the space of creativity and courage while walking into the light. Wow!
I love the clarity of the message in your new format! And the mandala is spectacular!